How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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