if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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