Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
