Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
