imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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