on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
