8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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