I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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