why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
