Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My ATM looks so different sober.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize