So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
