wanna go halves on a baby?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
