I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
