Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
