I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
