lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
