friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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