D3 body, D1 cock
i was born a porn star she said
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
