Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
