I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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