saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is Oprah even human
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
