I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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