i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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