Yo dont text me then not text me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
