Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
