So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
