Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
