She is in my trunk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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