Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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