I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
