Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
