I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
do herpes really smell.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
