So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
