dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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