I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
try to milk me bitch
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
