dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
