That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
