There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
