She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
