Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
