there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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