How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize