Dual....:-)
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
