It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
