Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
