ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
