i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
