you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
