my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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