Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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