What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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