yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize