Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
