I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
