We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize