that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He has the fingertips of a God
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