The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
