I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's the barista slut.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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