I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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