i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
