When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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