She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
