a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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