Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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