i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
