I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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