I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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