butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
