I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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