You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
