Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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