eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize