i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
