I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
