Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
