it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
