Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
