If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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